Sunday, October 21, 2007

Batman subtext?



Every young boy's dream - specially in those nice pajamas.

Then there's this old favourite - how can a static image have such great comic timing?




There are infinite amounts of this ort of thing at Superdickery.com

Friday, October 12, 2007

I, mutant

Multiple Facebook friends have 'defined' me with the term 'toe thumbs' (or in one case the more web-like 'toe_thumbs') - I'm sure not in a 'hang the freak!' sense, but it is a bit odd being identified with one/two bits of anatomy, no matter how bizarre.

I suppose they look more like toes than lots of other non-toe objects that exist in the universe. I should point out they are opposable, I can use tools and cling to branches. Although technically a mutant I don't think I qualify for membership of the X-Men - maybe a more supporting role, like Willie Lumpkin, the Fantastic Four's postman who offers to help on the basis that he can 'wiggle my ears real good'.

Actually it's not the first time they've been remarked on, and I have been known to draw attention to them myself (and not just by waving them around to scare people away from seats on trains.) I made a video once, a monologue in the persona of a fireman (Fireman Jack, c1983). At the end I mentioned having my thumbs burned off and surgically replaced with toes (which did actually happen to someone.) There was a brief shot of my real hands - I never expected anyone to think it was true, but the combination of my method acting and the real digits meant that several people thought it was (eg audience member exiting room saying 'blimey, did you see that guy's hands!').

Perhaps I should become (more of) a conman, like the Eddie Izzard character in the excellent 'Riches'.

Monday, October 8, 2007

Holiday poem (work in progress - now with fewer apostrophes!)

I rarely attempt 'creative writing' as such, but did so whilst on holiday. Rather than leave the results in a notebook like a pressed flower never to be seen by human eyes I've typed them here (not without difficulty) thus consigning them to the aether...

Las Merindades

This time a green place held
by far long cliffs:
white rusty strips of stone unravelling
across the horizons, above
the deep slopes of trees, above
the red roofs, the well
of air -
the place
where we move around and look
temporarily.

(The cliffs grasp at unknown sky-distance like highways, the brindled roofs
are sometimes new, sometimes anciently festively tumbling, weighed
in place by stones.)

My tourist question - where
can I get a map
to counterhold
and connect:
a stork's nest in an old tower,
salt cod in a stew,
shouts and engines in still air,
some bright wine poured from a surprising height?
Gutters, papers, shoes, boundaried
for other people?

If I had it could I hold it
long enough
to read its legend
(that is not my own key or any key to where I am known);
hold it flat
in the rising breeze?

Friday, October 5, 2007

Psycho will provide towels

Back in 77/78, the New Regent was Brighton's main punk venue - a long, narrow, cramped bar smelling of leather and beer. (It features in this evocative piece by Gwyneth Jones.) Me and some other underage mates would go every week, seeing acts like X-Ray Spex, Penetration, Slaughter and the Dogs... one week we went to see Adam and the Ants who weren't allowed to play because one of them was underage. But the most memorable act was a local band called Psycho Normal and his Stiff Victims. They were flamboyant, entertaining, surprising and simply exploding with energy. With hindsight I can see their cocktail of pre-punk influences - early Who, the Bonzos, Alex Harvey - a richer brew than that served by many of the three-chord merchants of the time. The set included songs about Aleister Crowley and the Marquis de Sade, standard punky stuff about the delights of low-paid work, and absurd humour. We later discovered that they were even more local than we thought - not just a Brighton band, like the Depressions or the Piranhas, but a band with Portslade connections - as their leader Graeme Hobbs aka P. Normal lived in Abinger Road and worked by day at the Southdown coachworks.

A bunch of us took to hanging round at Graeme's house, listening to records and songs in progress, sometimes to the annoyance of his family and neighbours. We would put up posters and generally act as a sort of Baker Street Irregulars.

All of this was a scarily long time ago. Recently I decided to see if I could track Graeme down on the interweb, reasoning that he may have left some cyber spoor, and thinking if he was still around Portslade I might be able to lure him out for a drink. I had heard that he had been in another band, Tricks Upon Travellers, who have a MySpace page. Unfortunately I never saw this group, for who could resist a 'cross between Fairport Convention and Iggy Pop'. The comments mentioned Graeme's departure for Spain, and referred to 'Casa Zalama', which I assumed to be a village, but which turned out to be a 'casa rural' (sort of b&b/hotel in the countryside) owned by Mari-Cruz Totorico and... Graeme!

Fascinated by the possibility of staying in an establishment run by Psycho Normal (who if memory serves once beheaded a teddy bear filled with stage blood sacs, and would regularly bound around wearing sheep's head codpiece (or was it a cod's head sheeppiece)) I researched the possibilities. Cunningly I showed Jennie the gorgeous pictures and ecstatic reviews, and let her suggest that perhaps we could go there. At that point I whipped out the (surprisingly reasonable) tariff that Mari-Cruz had emailed over, and mused aloud that yes, perhaps Jennie's idea of going there was in fact feasible.

And so, thanks to punk rock and the Internet, our 2007 holiday was planned. We had many odd conversations in he run-up to the trip: 'I expect Psycho will give us tourist information'; 'I'm sure Psycho will provide towels'; 'I wish Pscyho had drawn a clearer map'.

The reality proved to be delightful. Graeme's philosophy of rock n role mayhem hasn't influenced his approach to hospitality - in terms of food, comfort, and attractiveness Casa Zalama is quite simply one of the best places we have been.

There were of course reminiscences. Graeme produced a comic I drew 30 years ago, satirising his verbal mannerisms, hairstyle and penchant for fearsomely strong tea. I had completely forgotten this work (produced as a pre-Facebook distraction from homework.) My ability to write and draw has evaporated since then - I'll try and get a scan of it to prove that I once had these skills.

Every night I dream that I'm...

A couple of years ago, I Googled the phrase "every night I dream that I'm travelling", to see if any other lost souls had dreams of perpetual motion. The search (in quotes) delivered no results, so I chopped a word from the end and searched again - this got twelve results. The combination of phrases appealed to me, so I carried on removing words and doing the search, with an idea of assembling the end product as a sort of found poem. The searches found ever-more results, so I reduced the number of phrases I kept each time to stop it achieving infinite length. Here is the 2005 version:


every night I dream that I'm...


Every night I dream that I'm driving a truck from Pittsburgh to New York.

every night I dream that I'm hemmoraging to death at the hospital again.

every night I dream that I'm smoking

Every night I dream that I'm pregnant

Every night I dream that I'm going home for Christmas instead of going to do fieldwork in Somalia

Every night I dream that I'm drifting further and further out to sea

Every night I dream that I'm being chased by chainsaw-wielding, PCP-addicted chimps

every night I dream that I'm standing on the side of a lake, or partially
submerged, watching somebody swim around

EVERY NIGHT I DREAM THAT I'M BACK IN FRANCE

every night I dream/That I'm/Saddled on that copper colored pony/With you
every night I dream that I'm at work, feels like I've already done a shift by time I get there and a few other people I work with have commented that they do too

every night i dream that i'm back down in folorida with the most amazing people i've ever met; and i finally feel some sort of relaxation and contentment go over me like a wave.



every night I dream that...


Every night I dream that I found him and then, Every day I wake up and I'm lonely
again

every night I dream that we are together in April, doing the
things we planned on doing

every night I dream that one day I will sleep in that
hotel

Every night I dream that his mother purchases an engagement ring

Every night I dream that football vanishes from the face of the earth taking all the pleb players with it, but every morning I wake up and discover it's still there :(

Every night I dream that my injuries just get worse and worse, and I am afraid
of going to sleep

every night, I dream that I either forget to feed you or leave you somewhere!

every night. I dream that they shoot at me and that I get hit by bullets: one in my thigh, one in my wrist, one in my head, one in my chest and then a fifth and a sixth and so on

Every night, i dream that i am falling in the middle of nowhere...

Every night I dream that I am writing The Lord of the Rings but I realize that
I am only Tolkien my sleep

every night I dream that I am infected

every night I dream that he starts to be able to talk


every night I dream

every night I dream, Together you and me, Look at us baby, look at us now.

Every night I dream the same dream Of getting older all the time I ask you now, what does this mean?

Every night I dream Liquid dreams, my liquid dreams

every night I dream Hope and pray and believe So happy that you're mine We'll
live in ecstacy The world for you and me

Every night I dream. One day my mom saw a snake,. She threw the rake.

every night I dream, I dream of you I'd like to run away and hide, but you're always there inside 'cause everywhere I dream, I dream of you

Every night I dream about extreme tragedies with my family and friends.

Every night I dream about you

Every night, I dream I dream of you.

every night I dream a little more in my mind every night I cry a little more in
my mind and I realize that holding on to clouds of dreams that are now gone


every night I...

Every night I lag out in Euless Tx.

“Every Night I Go Running” follows the regular exploits of a solitary runner on
his journey through a number of different settings and locations,

Every night I just want to go out, D get out of my head. E Everyday I want not
to get up,

Every Night I Fall

Every Night I Pray For The Bomb

Every night I ask Jesus to take me home.

Every night I flood my bed - I drench my couch with my tears

Every night I still cry

Every night, I think, Why did I throw it all away?


every night...

Every Night Italian

every night in the historic Ninth Square district in downtown New Haven, Connecticut

every night and it makes me sick

Every Night Is Mardi Gras!

every night and she always yells at him before going to bed alone

every night She’s mad that she ever loved him

Every Night, Josephine


every...

Every Rule in the Universe

Every Writer Should Know

'every second'

Every Child Matters

Every Generation

Every Day



I thought it would be interesting to do this again, and see how it had changed. If anything, I am even happier with this version.




every night I dream that I'm...


every night, I dream that I'm home with my family

Every night, I dream that I'm traveling to another city - Miami, Barcelona, Paris

Every night I dream that I’m ready to leave where I am

Every night I dream that I'm dead & I'm gonna kill everyone

Every night I dream that I'm pregnant

Every night I dream that I'm drifting further and further out to sea

Every night I dream that I'm in a certain place and a man sleeps with me but find myself in the morning in my bed

every night I dream that I'm standing on the side of a lake, or partially submerged, watching somebody swim around

Every night I dream that I'm being chased by chainsaw-wielding, PCP-addicted chimps.

every night i dream that I'm smoking and i wake up burnt its so weird

Every night I dream that I’m really from another planet and that I am here to study everything around me to report back

Every night I dream that I'm in exotic places with a swish digital camera and I snap and snap away, capturing beautiful images and longing for them to still exist when I awake


every night I dream that...

Every night I dream that you are taken away from me… erm, us, forever

Every night I dream that I found him and then, Every day I wake up and I'm lonely again Chorus: WHERE IS THE MAN? WHERE IS THE MAN?

every night I dream that I am living in the 1500's

every night I dream that my startup is acquired by Google

every night I dream that I am using some kind of computer where I simply wave my hands and manipulate the box

Every night I dream that I am Mario and I begin riding Yoshi buck naked, slapping gumbas and turtles with my parachute size ball sack!

Every night I dream that you want me back, but the sun rises and you never call.

every night, I dream that I either forget to feed you or leave you somewhere! Poor kid!

every night I dream that I am with him in the garden at Chiswick

every night I dream that somehow I am running into the leaders of our CLB [‘church left behind’]

every night I dream that he has come home and when I wake up and find it's only a dream it just breaks my heart.


every night I dream...

Every night I dream about extreme tragedies with my family and friends.

every night i dream, Together you and me
Look at us baby, Look at us now
Your like the flower bloom, The glowing of the moon
Will make it baby, Look at us now
For everyone believe, That we could never be
Look at us baby, Look at us now
now all the hurt is gone, I knew it all along
We make it baby, Look at us now

every night I dream about you

every night I dream about Ashgabat

every night I dream, Together you and me, Look at us baby, look at us now.

Every night I dream it, and it’s horrible

every night i dream together you and me Look at us baby look at us now Like the flower bloom The blooming of the moon We'll make it baby , look at us ...

Every night I dream I'm under you

every night I dream I'm under you All the smiling hands delivering all the ??? All of the smiling men with suede hands delivering with those pensions

every night, I dream of being chased, killed, isolated, uncared for, of evil spirits... etc


every night I...

Every night I save you

Every night I pray

every night I burn Every night I scream your name Every night I burn

every night I would awake as a girl

Every Night I Pray For The Bomb

Every night I fall Every night I fall into you Youve got me in a ? ? ? And I cant help but fall

Every Night I Go Running

Every Night I'm Yours

Every Night I Wake Up Screaming


every night...

"Every Night" is a song written by Paul McCartney while he was on holiday in Greece

Every Night: Music: Saturday Looks Good to Me by Saturday Looks Good to Me

Every Night Italian: 120 Simple, Delicious Recipes You Can Make in 45 Minutes or Less

every night and it makes me sick

Every night I just wanna go out, get out of my head Every day I dont want to get up, get out of my bed

Every night in northern Uganda, tens of thousands of children, known as night commuters, flow into town centres.

every night while he was manager of the team

every night of the week!


every...

Every child matters
Every child matters
Every generation online
Every action counts
Every car journey
Every 10 seconds
Every little thing

Thursday, October 4, 2007

Casa Zalama


24-09-07_1520
Originally uploaded by Mister Roy

Our holiday destination this year was Casa Zalama, a 'casa rural' in northern Spain. This was our first time in this region and in this type of accommodation. It was utterly splendid - great room, lovely food, and a fascinating area. Casa Zalama deserves its many good reviews, and as well as being hospitable is a kind of magical place with a garden filled with sculptures. Las Merindades isn't mentioned at all in some guidebooks, which is bizarre as it has dramatic landscapes, mediaeval villages and castles, and a pleasantly un-touristy atmosphere. It's also easy to get to Bilbao and Burgos.

I've put plenty of photos on Flickr.